Verbal Abuse: What You Need to Know About This Form of Domestic Violence

Published March 8, 2024

Almost everyone knows that the words we speak to others, whether good or bad, have an impact. Receiving negative ones can damage you in ways far too profound. Hurtful words can affect how you behave in your day and poison your mood. You may also start wondering if you deserve such degrading terms or wonder what you did to earn it. 

Knowing that verbal abuse is a valid, saddening case is crucial. It is considered domestic violence. If you or someone you know is a victim of it, help is available. There’s no use in downplaying the situation and mistakenly blaming themselves for the abuser’s actions. Your well-being is far more critical. 

In this article, we’ll discuss everything there is to know about verbal abuse. Such awareness can help you navigate your unique situation. We’ll discuss what it is, how to know if it’s happening in your relationship, and what to do about it. Moreover, we’ll have a section on how to report verbal abuse and recover from the hurt caused by it. Let’s start. 

What Is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is a type of emotional abuse. It is when someone resorts to words to assault, dominate, manipulate, ridicule, and degrade another person. It is done to impact that person’s psychological health negatively. It is a means of controlling and maintaining power over another person. 

Verbal abuse can exist in any type of relationship. It is valid for romantic, parent-child, family, and co-worker relationships. It can sometimes precede physical abuse. Yet, it is not always the case. Verbal abuse can exist without physical harm. 

Is Verbal Abuse Happening in Your Relationship?

Spouses, cohabitating couples, or family members living in the same home can get into occasional arguments in which they may criticize or say unpleasant and hurtful things towards another that they later regret. Yet, when these types of fights happen regularly or are used as an outlet to threaten or intimidate you, the situation rises to the level of domestic abuse. 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline acknowledges that verbal abuse can be as equally damaging and harmful to the victim as a physical assault. This form of harm can cause you to doubt yourself and feel anxious or depressed. Moreover, verbal abuse causes you to fear the person engaging in this type of behavior. It can also be a precursor to physical harm, such as punching and kicking. 

Verbal abuse may include any of the following: 

1. Name-calling
2. Insults
3. Mockery
4. Threats
5. Gaslighting 
6. Yelling or shouting
7. Blame and accusation
8. Humiliation
9. Invalidating feelings
10. Intimidation
11. Sarcasm 
12. Constant criticism 
13. Manipulation 
14. Guilt-tripping
15. Verbal threats of violence 

Verbal harm can also be much more subtle. Victims of it often question whether or not what they suffer is genuinely abusive. They also second-guess if it is a big deal. 

Below are all other signs you are experiencing verbal abuse: 

1. You fear your abuser.
2. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around the other person 
3. You feel like you cannot open things about yourself, and you’re afraid they will ridicule or mock you
4. You’re hesitant to be in public with them. You feel they will say hurtful things about you in front of other people
5. You feel threatened
6. You feel as if you are constantly being put down. It is regardless of how you look, think, act, dress, or talk. 
7. They yell at you and then affirm you are overly sensitive. They may also say you do not have a sense of humor.
8. They overreact to minor issues and then blame you for the resulting argument. 
9. They suggest that they are the victim. 
10. They hide this verbal harm when you are around other people. Yet they act ultimately differently when you are alone. 

Is Verbal Abuse Domestic Violence

Verbal abuse is acknowledged as a form of domestic violence. It falls under the category of emotional or psychological abuse. It can be just as distressing as physical violence. It can also direct to long-term psychological harm. 

It is a common misconception that to take legal action against a domestic abuser, they must commit an act of violence that results in tangible, physical injuries. According to the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act of 1990, actions that are against the law contain both harassment and terroristic threats. It does not often leave bruisers or any other sign that the incident occurred, 

What To Do About Verbal Abuse

The first step in handling verbal abuse is acknowledging the abuse. If you could point to any type of it in your relationships, it’s vital to recognize that first and foremost. 

Be honest about what you are going through. It will help you in starting to take steps to regain control. 

1. Set boundaries 

Firmly tell the verbally harming person that they may no longer criticize, judge, or shame you. Name-calling and threats should also end. Tell them what will happen if they persist in this abusive action. 

For example, if they scream or swear at you, the discussion will end, and you will leave the room. The secret is following through. Do not set boundaries you have no intention of exercising. 

2. Limit exposure

If you can, distance yourself from the verbally abusive person. Instead, spend time with people who love and support you. Limiting exposure with them will grant you space to reevaluate the relationship. Surrounding yourself with a network of friends or family will help you feel less lonely. It will also remind you of what a healthy relationship should look like. 

3. End the relationship 

Suppose there are no signs that the verbal abuse will end and that the person lacks any intention of working on their behavior. You then need to take steps to cut the relationship. 

Before proceeding, share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family, or counselor. You should also craft a safety plan in case the abuse escalates when you decide to break up. 

4. Seek help 

Healing from a verbally abusive union may not be something you can accomplish on your own. Connect with trusted loved ones for support. You can also reach out to a therapist who can assist in processing your emotions and develop healthy coping skills for the consequences of verbal abuse. 

How To Report Verbal Abuse

You can report verbal abuse to the authorities. In some cases, you might be able to file a police report for it. If you feel threatened, you can also request a restraining order. 

You can take legal action to protect yourself. These include: 

1. Having the abuser arrested and pressing criminal charges
2. Acquiring a restraining order against the abuser
3. Appear in court to seek legal rights to assets and property
4. Blocking the abuser from seeing your children or contacting other family members