10 Early Warning Signs of a Stalker You Should Know About

Published February 13, 2024

Feeling watched, harassed, or constantly under menace from someone. Words can describe how awful it is and how difficult it can be to know what to do. Many of us believe that stalkers can only exist in TV and celebrity horror stories. We even struggle to imagine that anyone would fixate on us in such an intense way. 

However, the reality is that stalking is much more prevalent than we think. According to a report, 45% of all stalkers are ex-partners. You may be dealing with it if you’re out of a relationship. Whether you’re being followed by someone you know or a stranger, stalking can have far-reaching consequences for your well-being. It can even change the way you see the world. 

In this article, we’ll comprehensively discuss the ten early warning signs of a stalker you should know about. We’ll define what stalking means, if it is a crime, and how it impacts your well-being. Afterward, we’ll teach you ways to stop a stalker. By the end, we hope to help your situation and help you reach a sense of safety and peace. Let’s start. 

What Does Stalking Mean?

Stalking is ruled as a pattern of fixated and obsessive behavior. It is repetitive, persistent, and intrusive. It causes fear of violence or endangers alarm and distress in the victim.

Anodyne could become a stalker if they become fixated on another person. And, if given, they take steps to force interaction against that person’s will. Anyone could be a victim of stalking. It is regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, and sexuality. 

Is Stalking a Crime?

Stalking is considered a crime in many jurisdictions around the world. The specifics of stalking laws can vary by country and state. Yet, they generally criminalize behavior that involves following, threatening, or harassing another person. And it is in a way that causes them to feel afraid or seriously annoyed. 

California was the first state to criminalize stalking in the US in 1990. Within three years after that, every state in the United States followed suit to create the crime of staking. It is under different names, such as criminal harassment or criminal menace. 

How Long Do Stalkers Stalk?

The duration of stalking can differ significantly. It will depend on the circumstances and individuals involved. 

According to a report from the US Department of Justice, the average duration of stalking is 1.8 years. Yet, if it involves intimate partners, the average duration increases to 2.2 years. 

Warning Signs of a Stalker You Need To Know

1. Contacting you constantly 

Calling you multiple times a day, texting again and again before responding or commenting on your social media posts. Such actions should be a warning sign. It gives off like they need your attention at all times. Yet, they’re not caring about you. It is also the same if they persistently ask where you are and who you’re with. They do not respect your privacy. 

2. Getting your details before you give them 

It’s usual for someone to follow you on Facebook after meeting them. It’s also typical to ask a friend for your number. Yet, if they don’t tell you how they got your details or show up at your home before you tell them your address, alarm bells should be ringing. These actions are not dedication or resourcefulness. They are an invasion of privacy. You have every right to tell them it made you uncomfortable. 

3. Monitoring your activities

Most of us share our days out on social media. Yet, we don’t expect to be questioned by someone new about a photo with a friend. Asking too many details about what you’ve done in the past is a sign of extreme control. It is a solid red flag. It is especially the case if they respond with judgmental or derogatory comments. 

4. Showing up unannounced

You have the right to a personal life. Suppose a person repeatedly turns up unannounced to your plans. It may indicate trying to feature you in all of your social interactions to control you. Stalkers are even known to orchestrate events in which you need help. 

To illustrate an example, they might steal your keys. It is only to give them to you, saying they found them. The act will view them as a hero. It is despite presenting a danger to you. If their efforts consistently fail for a long time, stalkers might also go to such lengths as filing petty lawsuits. 

5. Unwanted or inappropriate gifts

Gifts for no reason are another early bad sign of a stalker. It is especially true if you’ve displayed no romantic interest. Stalkers manipulate you into accepting a gift by sending it to your workplace. It causes you to be embarrassed and distressed. If their affections are not reciprocated, this can escalate into inappropriate and even pornographic presents. 

6. Online abuse

With the rise of the internet, it is easier for someone to acquire details on your personal and financial affairs—your relationships, social, work life, and location. 

Stalkers typically use online platforms to ruin their reputation. They hack your accounts. They slander and imitate you incessantly. They may also threaten you via email or instant messaging. 

Online abuse can have : 

• A false profile of you being made and used on social networking sites. 
• You are making malicious websites, blogs, and social networking sites. 
• Receiving direct or indirect threats by means of email and instant messaging
• Having images of you modified and shared online. It is sometimes sexually explicit. 

7. Criminal damage

In isolation, damage to your home or vehicle may seem unremarkable. Yet, it can become more alarming in particular circumstances and with repetition. Criminal damage also indicates the typical behavior of a stalker. 

Criminal damage can include: 

• Forced entry into your place
• Damage to your property
• Graffiti or paint on your belongings
• Arson to your property

8. Following, tracking, and finding you

Stalkers also often employ multiple methods to stalk their victims. It includes following, tracking, and spying on their every move. With how advanced our technology is now, they can easily monitor your movements and conversations. It is through bugging and tracking devices. The intrusiveness of this behavior will often leave the victim feeling vulnerable and scared. 

Stalkers may: 

• Fit a tracking device to your car
• Employ mobile devices and GPS to keep an eye on you
• Use spyware on your computer
• Bug your home
• Hang around and turn up at known locations 

9. Using your kids to get to you 

If the sufferer has children with their perpetrator, other strategies may be used to stalk and obtain control. Mobile phones and game consoles make it easy for stalkers to initiate a private conversation to get information. 

Children who witness or are victims of emotional or psychological harm are at higher risk of long-term mental health dilemmas. Suppose you think you are being stalked through your child. It is critical to get the help and support available. 

10. Inappropriate fixation or obsession 

This last sign of stalking involves an abnormal and unwarranted interest in your life, routines, and personal details. Stalkers might seem excessively invested in your well-being. 

How Does Stalking Impact Your Well-Being

The effects of stalking can be severe. It reaches into various aspects of life. It leads to: 

• Intense emotional distress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Fear for safety 

Some reports have even labeled it as “soul-destroying”. Victims often faced disruptions in: 

• Daily routines 
• Personal relationships
• Work 
• Sense of security 

Stalking can impact all groups of people. It is irrespective of any background, be it of gender, age, or race. Compared to men, however, women are more commonly the victims.

Stalking is also more common among young people. It is ages 18 and 29 years old. Around 80% of stalking behaviors are committed by men. 54% of stalking cases are within an intimate relationship, and 45% occur after the relationship is due. 

These post-relationship cases pose higher risks. They are also often defined by persistent and severe behaviors. They include threats and violence. Intimate partner stalkers often possess intimate data of their partners. It has routines, vulnerabilities, and personal details. All were obtained during the relationship. 

This familiarity may allow them to sidestep legal measures like restraining orders. Thus, they persistently harass their ex-partners while potentially avoiding legal consequences. 

How Can I Stop a Stalker?

1. Validate your experience

Being targeted by a stalker is one of the scariest and most unsettling experiences. It’s common to try and convince yourself it isn’t happening. 

Stalking victims often don’t recognize how serious things are until they escalate. Even more concerning, victims tend to see their ex-partners as less dangerous than strangers. For this reason, it’s critical to take any stalking behaviors seriously. Act quickly. 

2. Say no 

If someone’s behavior makes you uncomfortable, express to them how their behavior is not okay. Tell them not to contact you again; warn them that if they persist, you will call the police. 

Like most abusers, they can try to gaslight you. They may try to make you believe your reactions are unreasonable or crazy. They do so to avoid being made to stop. 

3. Let people know

While it may be uncomfortable, inform those around you about what is happening. Tell folks at home to watch for a specific person or car. Connect with your receptionist to refuse gifts. Ask your coworkers not to give out schedules or answer questions about you. 

Lean on friends and family for support. Ensure to share your location on your phone with someone close to you. Do so for safety purposes. 

4. Keep a record 

Begin a diary of behaviors as soon as you notice a red flag. Compile the time, date, details of what happened, and how you feel. Keep any messages they send you. Do not forget social media comments and answerphone messages, too. 

Record what they say on phone calls. Make notes of relevant vehicle registration numbers. It’s critical to record the impact of the events on your feelings. The law fixates on whether or not the actions triggered significant alarm, distress, or fear of violence. 

5. Report stalkers to the police

Harassment and stalking are both illegal. It is even if you’re uncertain which the behavior falls under. Still, report it. If you say incidents to the police, include them in your records. 

Note down dates, times, the names of the people you spoke to, and what they said. List the actions you were told would be taken. 

6. Make sure you stay safe.

Firstly, you are not to blame for the thing you are experiencing. It’s vital to take steps to keep yourself safe. Ensure your phone is always at full charge in case you need to call for help. Tell family and housemates where you’re going. Also, it’s time to go home. Keep to well-lit, busy areas. Do not walk alone. 

7. Protect your privacy 

Now would be a great time to increase your phone, computer, and social media security. Double-check that you don’t have any unnecessary applications sharing your location. Make your accounts private. Remove unknown connections on social media. Close off webcam access on your computer. Share as little personal data as you can. 

Once your digital space is secure, follow through with your home and care. You can employ an app that scans your house for recording. You can add surveillance devices and use your phone’s Bluetooth to check for a tracker on your car.